Back in January I wrote about a challenge I was taking on to master one thing every month. Last month it was walking. This month it’s beginning a program of intermittent fasting. Based on the ebook “Eat Stop Eat*” I’m hoping to get some of my blood numbers back on an even keel, and I also hope it will help me lose weight. With my thyroid situation I’m not holding out much hope, but hey, it never hurts to try. I’ll be fasting on Mondays and Fridays (These are my two rest days for marathon training, so it won’t be so hard on my system), just for 24 hours – from supper to supper. This means I eat every day, and stop the fast before the starvation mode sets in, but after the fasting benefits begin.

If you’ve never tried intermittent fasting, I can recommend it. Now that I’m off the wheat I don’t wander around the kitchen in a crazed fury desperate to shove carbs down my throat, so it’s much easier!

For the purposes of prayer, starting next month, I’ll also be fasting for three full days the first full weekend of every month – Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Once a month won’t be much of a problem here, and the rest it gives my body will be quite the gift, I’m sure.

Have you ever done regular fasting? How was it for you? What’s the longest fast you’ve done? Have you done intermittent fasting?

I’d love to hear your comments and responses below!

Darlene

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This is a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. How big is God, really?

In the conversations I’ve had with people about my not going to church there seems to be a lot of fear for my spiritual safety, and to be honest, I’ve also felt a little nervous regarding the spiritual growth of my two kids without the church to kind of “back them up”.

When this happens, I’m learning to stop myself and ask “How big is God?”

If my reasons for leaving the church were “right” ones (what appeared to be a call from God asking me to leave) as opposed to my leaving for reasons of anger, rebellion and hurt, and if my purpose is to really and truly know God as He really and truly is, and if I’m pursuing that desire through scripture, open fellowship where I’m encouraging people to speak truth to me, and prayer, and if I see strong growth in my life in confession, repentance, celebration, and fellowship, then what do I have to fear? Is God not big enough to help me? And if my heart is right, and I’m open before Him and before others – including my family – is He not also big enough to watch over my children?

I’ve been surprised by the amount of fear expressed towards me about this – not just from “outside” but also the amount that has surfaced in myself. I cannot believe how much my faith has been motivated by fear. This is NOT the foundation I want to build my relationship with God on. I want to stand solidly on His love, not my fear. Perfect love casts out fear, and that’s how I’m choosing to live.

And what about fellowship? The fellowship I see in the Bible in the New Testament is less about a formal, pre-planned church service with bells and whistles, and more about people coming together to celebrate Jesus because they couldn’t help sharing, each one bringing something to contribute about what they’re learning in the faith. Each one responsible for their own growth, and coming together to know and be known by others. Since leaving the church God has blessed me with several deep, deep friendships with people, conversations that bring tears, hilarious laughter, change, prayer, teaching, support, and great love. THIS is the fellowship I believe God wants us to have. For some, they find that in the church, and I say “Praise God”. For others it’s a little more difficult.

And strangely enough, I’m a huge fan of things like liturgy and spiritual discipline, ancient prayers and the like that is pretty much only found in the church, but I’m learning to find it and use it on my own as well, and I’m thriving in the richness of that heritage, too.

So, to answer my question: is God big enough to keep me and my family safe? I have to answer a resounding “YES”.

And I’m not going to waste any more time worrying about it. Whew!

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Yes, I’m still here! Can hardly believe it’s been over two weeks since I last posted! So unlike me! Tells you just how busy things have been!

So, thought I’d drop in for a quick update!

As my regular readers know, I’ve been doing some serious experimenting over the past few weeks in addition to having my business take off, and keeping up with homeschool and teaching at Gymboree. With all that together, I’ve been busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs! But I feel like I’ve finally come up for air, and so I thought I’d pop in a catch everyone up!

Sleepless:

As many of you know, for the past couple of months I’ve been following a program of really intensive prayer. It’s an interesting course about spiritual warfare, and battling those strongholds that keep us bound, often without our realization. The goal of the course is to break free of everything from the past so you can walk free into the future. It’s not for the faint of heart. Since the 14th of January I’ve been getting up every night at 11:30 and praying through until 1:30-2:00 am. I have to admit, there has been the odd night (perhaps around 5 in total) where I’ve just been unable to get up, or my alarm didn’t work, but otherwise, I’ve been pretty faithful to this regimen. As morning starts at 5:30, that makes for a very short night. So, in and around the prayer times I’ve been experimenting – mostly unsuccessfully with Polyphasic Sleep. I tried to go “hard core” and jump in with both feet, but unless you have very supportive people around you who are willing to monitor you and drag you out of bed, it’s pretty hard to follow through on. Currently I do a 1.5hr nap from about 10:00-11:30, followed by prayer, followed by a 4-hour “core sleep”. Then, in the afternoon, I take a nap for 30-45 minutes. So far, that’s working well. Once I’m well into that rhythm, I’ll drop the 1.5 hour nap before prayer, and add another 30 minute nap during the day. I would like to eventually work up to a 3 hour core sleep, and 3 short naps. That would give me quite a bit of free time to work on things I can’t get around to now. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m going to give myself several months to work into that schedule gradually. I don’t do well with shock therapy!

Starving

In addition to letting go of the burden of sleep (ahem) the prayer course also allows me the privilege of giving up food. It often calls for 3 days of dry fasting (an “Esther Fast” where you avoid both food AND water. I’m OK letting go of the food, but I’ve not yet managed a completely dry fast) followed by 1-3 weeks of partial fasting. To make my life easier, I’ve simply adopted the “Fast-5” lifestyle and add in the extra fast when called for. I actually like this way of eating, and, in fact, am rarely, if ever, hungry. Sure saves time! Only one meal to prepare!

Steps

The other thing the prayer course is doing is encouraging my walking. One is supposed to march as one prays, and because our house is so open plan, I need to walk someplace that’s a little soundproofed so as to allow the rest of the family the peace and quiet they need to sleep. The only place that allows that is the basement, and the only place to walk in the basement is on the treadmill. So, in addition to my training that I do in the mornings, I now walk 1.5 – 2 hours in the middle of the night, and, having realized the the treadmill allows me to spend day after day without ever getting outside, I now take an afternoon walk of about 3.5km outside. The sidewalks are still a bit of a mess, but on this walk I’m not worried about training or speed or heart rate, so I don’t mind if I have to slow right down or take a detour or whatever. The combination of all three is keeping me at my step goal of a minimum of 10,000 steps with very little conscious effort – Nice!

Sabbathing

The added stress of all the above has also encouraged me to get serious about sabbathing. Now, at 6:00pm on a Saturday night, I shut off my computer, and don’t turn it on again until Sunday night around the same time. I don’t check e-mail on my iPod, I don’t do business work, and I try and take time for family and reading. I work my prayer time so I can now sleep through on Saturday-Sunday, and I also sleep in on Sunday mornings, don’t worry about fasting, and ignore my normal schedule. This is HUGELY refreshing to my soul. I highly recommend it.

Now our business is in a manageably “steady” place, I will soon be leaving Gymboree except to do the occasional subbing, and I’m in a good rhythm with food/sleep/prayer, so I’m feeling much more myself! I hope you’ll be hearing lots more from me (and I hope you think that’s a GOOD thing, LOL!)

So, enough about me – catch me up with what you’ve been up to, and where you’re headed! I’d love to hear the things you’re experimenting with and testing in your own life!

Happy Walking!

Darlene

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I love having the opportunity of sharing resources that I think will bless, strengthen, and otherwise help others. One of the joys of doing this “PraiseWalker” blog is that I get to meet others who think the same way. Today I want to re-introduce you to a fellow fitness colleague of mine: Laurette Willis of PraiseMoves. The main focus of Laurette’s ministry is a “Christian Alternative to Yoga“. I’ve used many of her programs, and I find them all really inspiring!

Well, Laurette has come out with something new, that’s right up my alley! It’s a walking program called “Power Promises“. I picked up a copy to see what it was about, and I must say she’s done a great job!

Power Promises is a 30 minute “walk” that you can do outside, on a treadmill, on an elliptical, or simply in place on your living room floor! It starts with a short warm-up to instrumental praise music (My Hope is Built on Nothing Less), then you get a workout section of about 20 minutes to techno-pop style music, and then a cool down with instrumental praise (Blessed Assurance). Throughout the whole program Laurette is in the background reading scriptures and scriptural affirmations. You come away from the program refreshed in body, mind, and spirit. Very cool.

Best part? About half way through she talks about worry, and makes the comment “Worry is meditating on the Devil’s thoughts – Why would I want to do that?!” What a wonderful line! I will remember that next time I panic…

So, down to detail – what specifically do I like and not like?

Here is the very short list of things I don’t like:

• I’d rather have praise music – or something else more inspiring – in the background of the workout part. I found the particular techno music track a little off-putting after the refreshing warm up.
• Sometimes the mix was a little off, and an individual word or two got lost. She’s reading from a different translation than I usually use (NKJ?) and so the specific wording wasn’t as familiar to me, and I didn’t catch all the words

Ok now here’s what I love!!

• wonderful selection of scripture, well read, and well presented. You come away truly strengthened in spirit.
• The workout is appropriate for everyone. The maximum speed according to my treadmill was about 4.5km/hr which is a great speed – not so fast that it could be dangerous, but not so slow that you get bored. It’s also worth about 3800 steps, which is a good chunk of your daily 10,000 step requirement – not a bad way to start the day!
• Laurette has a lovely voice and reads with expression, passion, and clarity. No grating nasal or harsh tone to her voice! She has a neutral accent, and a very pleasant timbre. Quite soothing while still being stimulating and encouraging – no mean feat!
• Laurette reads at a pace that is comfortable for listening/meditation, but is also perfect for repeating along with her, to declare the affirmations aloud over your own life. I like that
• The program is a downloadable mp3 (so there’s no waiting!) and comes with an ebook of all the scriptures (so you can read along if you like, which eliminates the issue above with losing words…) and a workbook to help you really claim the scriptures for yourself and apply them to your day and life. It also comes with daily video encouragement where Laurette goes over the scriptures on video that you work on in your workbook. Again, nicely done.
• The price (currently a paltry $17, but regularly a very respectable $27) is a definite value for money!

All in all, a wonderful program, definitely worth the money at either price, and I can’t think of a better way to jumpstart your day! In fact, I’m thinking of using it as my daily warm-up!

So, head on over to Laurette’s site, pick up a copy, and let her know I sent you.

Oh, and just so we’re clear, I paid for the program myself, and am doing this review on my own initiative because I believe in what Laurette’s doing. I get no remuneration – monetary or otherwise – for posting this. I’m just a firm believer in non-competition business practice. If there’s something out there worth seeing, even if it’s going to support a “competitor”, I want to let you know!

Happy walking!

Darlene

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So, the new year has begun. How are all those resolutions you set? Are you succeeding with any of them?

It’s difficult to succeed in making healthier choices in life. We all know we need to slow down, eat better, exercise more, spend more time with God and our families. Yes, it’s all there in black and white in our heads, but it’s just so hard to walk those choices out.

Over the years as my desperation to change has risen to a fever pitch, I’ve learned a few tricks that have helped me, so I thought I’d share them here in the hopes that they’ll help you, too.

1. One habit at a time – I know your list is long, but choose one habit at a time. If you try to tackle them all, you’ll fail at them all. If you tackle one at a time, you’ll master the ones you work on.
2. Keep it Small – Reduce your goal to the smallest possible steps and tackle one small step per week.

So, here are some ideas you might try:

Getting in shape: Let me suggest that you buy a pedometer instead of a gym membership. Measure your steps normally for a week, find your daily average, and increase that daily average the next week by 100 steps. Continue to increase your daily average week by week. When you’re up to a couple thousand add an easy, refreshing 10-minute walk. Increase the walk by 10 minutes every month. Once you hit 60 minutes, increase your speed.

Eating better: Don’t buy the latest diet book, simply start breakfast with a selection of fresh fruit, begin lunch with a bowl of vegetable soup (broth based) and dinner with a large tossed salad. Each week drink one more glass of water a day until you’ve reached a minimum of 8 glasses. Once you’ve mastered that, start eliminating the bad stuff – but keep one day a week as a splurge day.

Spending more time with my family: Instead of instigating something like a family night out of the blue, make a choice to stop, turn, and look when your child speaks to you – in other words, practice listening. Then start asking questions about things they like to do. Participate wherever you’re invited. Soon the family times take care of themselves.

Improving my relationship with God: I don’t think most of us need another study, a new prayer system, a new Bible, or a program. I would simply recommend a journal, a pen, and some time. As in the above goal, start with listening. It might be pretty quiet for a while, but God is speaking, and if we learn to hear Him, the rest falls into place.

These probably sound ridiculously simple, but I think you’ll find if you start here, doors will open up, and new possibilities will present themselves.

If this is the kind of thing you’re looking for to reach those resolutions, download my free, 8-week “Introduction to Praisewalking” ebook over there on the right, and get started!

Try it and see! Keep me posted on how it works for you!

Darlene

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First of all, very exciting news! I was interviewed by a reporter for Chatelaine magazine – read the results here: How to stick to your walking workout I’d be grateful if you’d pass it on!

As you know, I’ve been experimenting with my life in a fairly concentrated fashion lately. The most extreme experiment being that of attempting polyphasic sleep.

The main reason I’m pushing so hard in different areas of my life, is that there is this sense of being “stuck”. It seems that many of my attempts to move forward don’t. Even my “non-attempts” (because people keep telling me to relax and “let things happen”) fall flat. No matter how hard I try – or don’t try – I struggle with losing weight, even though people who follow the advice I give based on considerable research, do. Being successful in business is an incredibly slow and tedious process, even though I am able to help others grow their business quickly. I can’t seem to master even small changes – and big changes, while they tend to be easier because they’re more “in your face” aren’t working either.

I’m not whining, and I’m not afraid of hard work and discipline. I just feel…stuck.

One of the reasons I wanted to try polyphasic sleep was to gain more time for spiritual devotions and get my life with God in a place where it is a life of victory and impact. I also wanted more time for fitness. Currently I feel like a bit of a slug. Trying to get up for devotions really early in the morning wasn’t working – my faith is so weak that strengthening it didn’t inspire me. And I’ve let anything and everything get in the way of fitness, even though I actually really enjoy my workout.

However, I am relentless. I believe there’s hope even for me!

These past two weeks of 2011 have been eye-opening mostly in the area of boundaries. There are things that are important to me, but I constantly let the urgent get in the way, and I am just not willing to put in the effort in some areas, to make the necessary difference. The boundary situation got so bad that I let everything of importance drop to tackle something that was urgent but had nothing to do with my life, my goals, or my convictions. How dumb is that? this is when I began to see that there is actually a problem bigger than what I recognized going on in my life.

I prayed about it, journaled, and I believe the key lies somewhere in my prayer life – which is about as effective as a wet sock. As I searched for understanding in how to move with power in prayer, I “stumbled” across a site that talks about being more effective in prayer, and it gives exercises and advice that challenge what I believe about prayer, but make sense, as well. As the prayer time needs to take place at midnight, according to this course, it’s also forcing me to create a polyphasic sleep pattern, which is interesting. I haven’t added fitness in to it yet, because the prayertime itself is already about 2 hours.

So currently I’m on a 21 day fast – 3 days of an “Esther Fast” (yes, I’m being very careful) and then 18 days of partial fasting, and I get up at midnight to pray according to a very specific schedule and pattern. This is the opening exercise of a 90 day prayer program that I’m currently finding fascinating. And, while it’s a struggle, I’m able to drag this sorry carcass out of bed at midnight every night, and battle in prayer for two hours before falling back asleep.

I’ll keep you posted!

Darlene

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Sometimes when you’re trying to lose those pounds, you need more than will-power, checklists, discipline, and hard work. You need warfare!

A while back, looking for just this kind of help, I found a great prayer online that is powerful, and keeps me well-focused on my goals. It’s long, but by the end of the few minutes it takes to declare it, you’re ready to tackle anything!

Weight Loss Prayer

I declare in the Name of Jesus, that my body weighs a healthy, lean, energetic, vibrant, glowing, strong _______lbs. calling forth things that are not as though they are, in accordance with Romans 4:17. I command every cell to function in wholeness. Every bio-genetic curse of addiction is broken. My DNA is correct and functions in line with God’s word. (Every generational curse of obesity and all other curses affecting my weight and health are broken.

I command every spirit of gluttony, sugar addiction, over-indulgence, compulsion, addiction, craving, lack of self control, anxiety, depression, anger, unworthiness, deformity, unbelief, oppression, self hatred, hatred of my body, ugliness, rejection, rebellion, inconsistency, deception, failure, fear, intimidation, loneliness, addiction and all other connected and related spirits not of the Lord Jesus Christ to come out now in the name and by the Blood of Jesus Christ. You are not allowed to dwell in, around or attach to me in any way, shape, form or fashion. It is finished. Be gone, now.)

My body is whole and healthy. I eat healthy food. I exercise physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally on a level of maximum efficiency. I am not moved by what I see for faith is the substance of things hoped for but not yet seen. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I love and respect my body and call it holy as the Lord my God is holy.

My metabolism, blood sugar levels, respiratory, cardiovascular, glandular, reproductive, digestive, neuro-muscular, and all other systems of my body, and every cell and every organ function as they were created to function, in perfect harmony and balance. I walk in the wholeness of Jesus Christ. I have outward and inward beauty. The beauty of Christ radiates from my very presence. The Jesus that is in me is beautiful and the fragrance of the Lord follows me wherever I go. I am the bride of Christ, pure, spotless and blameless before Him.

The favor of the Lord rests upon me and is unconditionally abounding toward me in every situation and circumstance. Jesus has plans and a hope for my future, and I will fulfill every inch, every centimeter of what he has for me. Satan is bound from interfering with the divine path of destiny the Lord Jesus Christ has called me to. I will no longer let fear, intimidation, rejection or any other thing stand in my way. I run the race with a victor’s crown on my head and feet that are swift to reach the high calling God has placed upon my life. I walk on high places in the power of the Holy Spirit who resides big in me.

I am violently and forcefully taking back everything the enemy has stolen from me. All of Satan’s plans and assignments are canceled. I am fully equipped and equipping others in the art of warfare. The high praises of God are upon my lips. I stand with a two-edged sword in my hand slicing into and pushing back the forces of darkness. The weapons of my warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. I am sharpened as iron sharpens iron.

I have the mind of Christ and the thoughts, feelings and intentions of His heart. I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus my Lord. Every fiery dart directed at my mind is quenched by the shield of faith. I do not entertain vain imaginations. I think only on glorious and lovely things. All God’s promises are yes and amen!(1)

To this prayer, add the following scriptural declarations:

According to Psalm 34:10 I declare that though the lions may grow weak and hungry, I, who seek the LORD, will lack no good thing.

According to Psalm 42:11 I declare that I will put my hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

According to Psalm 55:18 I declare that God ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.

According to Psalm 97:10 I declare that as one who loves the LORD, I hate evil, and so God will guard my life as His faithful one, and deliver me from the hand of the wicked.

According to Psalm 103:5 I declare that God satisfies my desires with good things so that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

According to Psalm 145:18 I declare that the LORD is near to to me as one who calls on Him, as one who calls on him in truth.

According to Proverbs 18:20 I declare that my stomach is filled from the fruit of His mouth; with the harvest from His lips I am satisfied.

According to Proverbs 25:27-28 I declare that I will NOT be like a city whose walls are broken down because I lack self-control.

According to Proverbs 30:8 I declare that I want neither poverty or riches, but simply my daily bread.

According to Isaiah 26:3 I declare that You will keep me in perfect peace, because I choose to focus my mind on You.

According to Isaiah 40:29 I declare that You give strength to me when I am weary and You increase the power of the weak.

According to Philippians 4:7 I declare that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.

According to Hebrews 10:35 I declare that I will not throw away my confidence; it will be richly rewarded.(2)

Try it out and see if it doesn’t stir up new fire inside you to reach those goals!!

Darlene

(1) Modified prayer that I found on the Internet. Author unknown. If you are, or know the author, please let me know so I can properly credit him/her.

(2)This list of verses is from “Scripture Keys for Kingdom Living” by June Newman Davis. I have reworded them and based them on the Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica. Use of either trademark requires the permission of Biblica.

On Wednesday I wrote about stress and the adrenals. Today I want to remind you of a wonderful trick I use to help me cope with the stress when I recognize that it’s getting to me – Breath prayer. I’ve written about breath prayers before, but thought I’d bring it back up. It’s such a wonderful way to unwind and relax, and can be done anywhere.

When I feel that familiar crunch in my stomach, or when my brain is racing in circles, or when I allow worry and confusion to take over, I simply take a deep breath, and breathe a prayer. The combination of both deep breathing and prayer is a powerful weapon over stress and it’s symptoms. The trick is to have several prayers learned for such an occasion so that your mind isn’t floundering, and so that you’re replacing the bad thoughts, not surpressing them. Here are some great examples of breath prayer, and a wonderful explanation of how to do it.

If you’re in a real bind – going through some tough times that are going to be there for a while – I’d memorize longer prayers that have real meat. You could try St. Patrick’s Breastplate (my all-time favourite for really stressful times), or the Anima Christi that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. You can also work on scripture passages, like Psalm 91, Isaiah 43, or that wonderful old standby, Psalm 23

Whatever you decide you want, start learning it now, breathing deeply as you memorize, so that it will be deeply ingrained in you and ready for you the next time your stomach knots, your head spins, or you start to hyperventilate.

Remember, 1,2,3, Breathe (and pray!)

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My own ethnic heritage is Welsh/English. My maternal Grandparents were immigrants from Wales, met here in Canada, married, and raised their family here.   My paternal Grandparents were from the Birmingham area in England and came to Canada several generations ago.

I never thought much about my heritage until I married my Belfast boy.  I became fascinated with the whole Celtic heritage that I’d inherited through my ancestors, and again through marriage and started to explore it a little.

Fascinating stories of old saints and amazing hardships.

The part that really appealed to me is their Christian heritage.  St Patrick – who hailed from Britain – was captured as a slave when he was a young boy.  He escaped, became a Christian, and returned to Ireland as a Bishop, and is almost single-handedly credited with converting them to the Christian faith.  He was beloved by all, and became Ireland’s patron saint.

In exploring Celtic faith and Christianity I discovered something that became really meaningful to me.  As the “Spiritual Directions” site states,

Every aspect of Celtic life was approached as an opportunity for union with the divine….their entire day was entwined with prayer. No part of life was too ordinary, mundane or routine for the Holy One to be present in it. The Celts had blessings for everything from house to hearth, animals and land, birth and death, waking and sleeping and travel.

I think this is wonderful!  My contemplative heart loves the idea of having every day bathed in prayer.  Yes, you can make it a chore and a mundane, thoughtless habit, or you can use it as a way to constantly connect to God.

I grew up in a very traditional Baptist church – choir robes, pipe organ, “Holy, Holy, Holy” and the whole nine yards.  It was a great church with loving, caring  people, but my young heart desired something much richer and deeper.  Because of that, I was always drawn to the Catholic Church with its pomp and circumstance, its icons, robes, incense and ceremony.  Being a Baptist, I struggled with their doctrine, but I loved their worship.

This longing has created quite a bit of confusion in my heart.  There was a time – not that long ago – when the desire to live as a nun in a convent spending my day in prayer was a tangible, living  thing in my soul.  Being married to a staunch Northern Irish presbyterian made that somewhat awkward although my husband is such a great man, he gave me freedom to explore.

When this whole journey reached a critical pitch, I was able to see that my longing was not for the Catholic Church, or for a particular form of worship, but it was more for a relationship with  God that allowed free expression of emotion, quiet times of togetherness, and deep intimacy.  For some reason the Catholic system embodied that for me.

When I looked deeper into the Celtic traditions, I realized I could take that longing and make it part of my everyday by using simple prayers as a tool to remind myself to simply connect and enter in.

When I hit my “religious crisis” that I’ve posted about recently, I put all of that aside, but it’s now calling to me from a healthier place.  I want any tool I can get to reach out to God regularly, so I’m slowly bringing those prayers back in to my everyday life.  I am slowly attaching prayer to mundane activities like drinking my water, washing my dishes, waking up in the morning and going to bed at night.  Mostly I use memorized prayers as a tool to enter in, and then I let the relationship take over.

I’m back to taking baby steps here, but as long as I’m moving forward, I’m in a good and happy place!

What do you think?  How do you connect with God in your day?  How do you live out a meaningful spirituality?  Post in the comments below!

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Tom and I are continuing our journey in learning to “Live Free”.  It’s been challenging, scary, tearful, and exhausting, but we’ve also seen where it’s going to bring freedom and truth to our faith.

I remember when I first started homeschooling, I wondered if I was “qualified” enough to do it. I had partial teacher training (I quit as soon as I realized someone was going to die in that grade one classroom with 47 children…) but I was assured that if I could teach my kids to walk and talk, I could teach them to read and write.

Later, I got all the questions about “socialization”, and after researching I discovered that kids who are well-socialized within their families are better socialized than kids who are socialized in a classroom of 30 unsocialized kids with one poor teacher trying to train them all how to behave and interact, all by herself/himself.

Next, I let go of formalized curriculum, and let the kids have free reign to pursue their passions. Through that my kids have taught themselves reading, writing and math, with very little interference from their mother, and they are both in the process of setting up their first business.

My Christian walk seems to be taking a similar path.

Through reading the book “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore“  Tom and I, after much prayer, and careful thought, are stepping back from organized church, to pursue God’s heart on our own for a while.  The first reaction was, “But how will you stay ‘true’? How will you keep from backsliding?”  The truth is, our hearts are desperate for a deeper experience of Jesus.  I believe HE is big enough and true enough and faithful enough to keep us straight.

Then came the question of fellowship.  The truth is my best fellowship moments happen outside of church.  I’m usually too busy at the actual church to fellowship with people – or they are too busy to fellowship with me.  Just because I’m not attending service doesn’t mean I can’t have coffee.

Thirdly is the question of growth – can I do that on my own?  Yes.  Between God and my friends, I can walk forward in confidence.  On my weekend away with Tom we were walking along a hiking path by a waterfall.  It was a little treacherous and slippery, but I found that if I placed my feet directly in Tom’s footprints, I was OK.  God showed me then that this is how He wants me to walk with Him.  Just look for His leading, and walk that path behind Him, knowing He has prepared the way.   Instead of having everything filtered through experts, I’m going to listen to God myself, seek His heart, and place my feet directly in his footprints.  Not having so much church “activity” also means I’m free to pursue people who can help me move forward where I am, and whom I can help where they are, instead of being on the pastor’s schedule for what he’s being led to teach the whole church, which, lately, is not where I am in my own walk.

This weekend I led worship for the last time in what might be a very long time.  I was so blessed by God through it that I was in tears afterwards.  Deep, deep reassurance that He was delighted in my choice, and anxious to take me further.  It will be hard to let go – I have a great church – but the call to freedom is so loud in my ears that I am having trouble hearing anything else.

Darlene

Be A Star! Post your comments below and join in the conversation (or get it started!) and then share this post with your friends using the different share buttons on the blog. I'd sure appreciate it! Thanks!

Who is Darlene Hull? Click here: www.darlenehull.com to find out!