Isn’t it funny how sometimes you can go about your day, all is well, and then some little thing happens and WHAM! Major over-reaction, emotions in a whirl, you are consumed by whatever it is that happened and it goes around and around in your head like a dog taking down a rat?
This has happened to me twice this week in my business.
I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty open, and I love to share ideas, collaborate, support other businesses, etc. I make a habit of it. I do it on purpose, consciously, because I believe with all my heart that collaboration, an exchange of ideas, and support beats competition and closed fists any day. I’m even happy – and encouraging – when a person decides that a different solution to what I’m offering is a better choice (that happened to me this week, and it was fine. Honest.)
But two things happened this week that stopped me in my tracks. The first happened when my efforts to do something amazing were thwarted by someone who just wanted “the bare facts” and the second through a mis-communication in a FB post where I was trying to be helpful but it was misinterpreted and blew into a stabbing attack that I cannot seem to resolve. In both cases I was overwhelmed by the emotions which were obviously completely inappropriate for the seriousness of the situation. Both cases disturbed my peace of mind for days, hindered my sleep, and caused me to go through my days with deep, ulcerative anxiety.
What was THAT all about?
I took it to Jesus and asked Him to show me what was up. Turns out there’s a huge (HUGE) fear of rejection there. Way bigger than I had imagined – especially in the current situation I’m in with a loving, supportive family, great friends, and almost embarrassing amount of written praise and affirmation that comes my way (especially on my birthday). I mean, I do feel loved, appreciated, and supported, believe me! But there’s still something there…
I mean, we all have brokenness. That’s obvious. Some just creates frustration, and can be tackled on a case-by-case basis. This particular experience however, is obviously starting to affect my work, my productivity, my health and my relationships all around (who wants to hang out with someone who’s obsessing over some small slight?!) Wow.
During prayer, after showing Satan the door on this issue, I asked Jesus to first heal the root cause of this rejection and fear of abandonment, and then to help me to accept and receive what He’s already showering me with in evidence to the contrary.
It’s been a powerful experience, and the journey continues…
If you’ve walked through this yourself, I’d love to hear your story. If you have tips that will help me walk through this with greater integrity and more permanent results, I’m all ears!
|Be A Star!
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