How Big is God?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. How big is God, really?
In the conversations I’ve had with people about my not going to church there seems to be a lot of fear for my spiritual safety, and to be honest, I’ve also felt a little nervous regarding the spiritual growth of my two kids without the church to kind of “back them up”.
When this happens, I’m learning to stop myself and ask “How big is God?”
If my reasons for leaving the church were “right” ones (what appeared to be a call from God asking me to leave) as opposed to my leaving for reasons of anger, rebellion and hurt, and if my purpose is to really and truly know God as He really and truly is, and if I’m pursuing that desire through scripture, open fellowship where I’m encouraging people to speak truth to me, and prayer, and if I see strong growth in my life in confession, repentance, celebration, and fellowship, then what do I have to fear? Is God not big enough to help me? And if my heart is right, and I’m open before Him and before others – including my family – is He not also big enough to watch over my children?
I’ve been surprised by the amount of fear expressed towards me about this – not just from “outside” but also the amount that has surfaced in myself. I cannot believe how much my faith has been motivated by fear. This is NOT the foundation I want to build my relationship with God on. I want to stand solidly on His love, not my fear. Perfect love casts out fear, and that’s how I’m choosing to live.
And what about fellowship? The fellowship I see in the Bible in the New Testament is less about a formal, pre-planned church service with bells and whistles, and more about people coming together to celebrate Jesus because they couldn’t help sharing, each one bringing something to contribute about what they’re learning in the faith. Each one responsible for their own growth, and coming together to know and be known by others. Since leaving the church God has blessed me with several deep, deep friendships with people, conversations that bring tears, hilarious laughter, change, prayer, teaching, support, and great love. THIS is the fellowship I believe God wants us to have. For some, they find that in the church, and I say “Praise God”. For others it’s a little more difficult.
And strangely enough, I’m a huge fan of things like liturgy and spiritual discipline, ancient prayers and the like that is pretty much only found in the church, but I’m learning to find it and use it on my own as well, and I’m thriving in the richness of that heritage, too.
So, to answer my question: is God big enough to keep me and my family safe? I have to answer a resounding “YES”.
And I’m not going to waste any more time worrying about it. Whew!
|Be A Star!
Post your comments below and join in the conversation (or get it started!) and then share this post with your friends using the different share buttons on the blog.
I'd sure appreciate it! Thanks!
to find out!