How to Matter

Want a great movie for your next movie night?  Try Julie and Julia.  Here are two women, feeling a little lost, and finding their way ahead through food.  Brilliantly done, deliciously filmed, funny, a little sad, challenging, triumphant.  It’s about love, life, discovering, and mattering.

Mattering.  That”s a big theme for me these days.

A few weeks back I wrote a post about validation.  It still holds very true.  To realize that you’ve pushed, strived, driven, given, and sweated blood for things that were important to you to find that really, in the end, it was “vanity, vanity“.

As I work through my journey to un-box my life, I find myself feeling that same kind of lostness the the women in this film went through.  I have tried to fill that void with different attempts to reach out and help people, but in the end, I’m not really good at intimacy or at friendship.  In fact, I’m not really good a caring about something over a long period of time.  I suffer not only from regular ADD, but “compassionate ADD” as well.

I’m trying to figure out how to move forward.  With no religious structure, no real business structure (yet, though I pray that’s coming) no real daily structure -in fact, very little structure at all, I find myself feeling a bit like jello that hasn’t quite set.  I feel like I need a project to define me.

The truth is, I need to be defined by who I was created to be.  For that, I need to understand the heart of my Creator as it applies to me, and yet that Creator is so firmly bound with religious ties, that I find it hard to know him without that structure – and with that structure He isn’t real either.

Not sure how to move forward.

Perhaps I should take up cooking…

Darlene

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Who is Darlene Hull? Click here: www.darlenehull.com to find out!

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